Been under the weather for the past few days, so I hope to be making up for lost time by popping up some good stuff over today and the President's Day holiday.
While infirmed, you know I was reading, and, in fact, I was really ripping through Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya. This book is spellbinding with its pure and unfettered descriptions of the vast plains of New Mexico and the young protagonist Antonio is articulate and wise beyond his mere six years of age. There was a particular passage that struck me as awesomely beautiful because of all it captured in just a few words. To give it some context, I will explain that Antonio has just been sent out into the academic world, experiencing all the trepidation and exhilaration that one can feel on thier first day of school. He feels like an outsider at first, though, being thrust into a diverse mix of town kids as a farming child of the llano. The other laugh and point at his green chiles and tortillas for lunch and mock him because he does not even speak English yet.
As Antonio narrates: "The pain and sadness seemed to spread to my soul, and I felt for the first time what the grown-ups call, la tristesa de la vida." I interpret this to be a Spanish phrase for a very poignant realization that we all reach in our lives, and yet, in English, we have no words/universal phrases to explain what is happening to us. Or perhaps we call it a loss of innocence? At this point, when Antonio is feeling alienated, otherly, unwanted, uncertain--he has a glimpse into the understanding that we are all suseptible to being hurt by this life and that pain is par for the course. Just like this epiphany at primary school--your mom has dropped you off at this place of persecution and you are told to enjoy it--I'm sure that we have all had that "Aha" moment where we realize that life is a helluva lot more than just a bowl of cherries.
Anyone care to comment? When did "la tristesa de la vida" first rear its ugly head into your consciousness? I found that thinking back to my first "tristesa" moment, it had to do with learning something about my parents that made them and me less invincible. They were no longer blameless and I somehow just then "got it" that we are all using a trial-and-error system to get by from day to day.
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